for a few years in the mid 2010’s, i think, everyone was really into synesthesia. maybe it was a little earlier, but i don’t think so - it felt like a very Obama-era cultural moment. synesthesia is when something in your brain gets crosswired so you associate feelings and perceptions with things you ordinarily would not. for example, the number 3 might be strongly associated with the color red. 9pm would be the smell of rosemary.
tuesday would be blue. and here we are.
i don’t know if that’s actually how that works, but that’s what i remember. neither am i sure where the line of demarcation is between synesthesia and just, you know, associating things with other things, which is something i just assume everyone does. but it’s possible that actually, that’s not something everyone does, and my light cross-associations between days of the week and numbers and feelings and colors is the signifier of a genuine neurological situation. it’s possible that i am a special guy with a special brain, which would have been very nice in 2011 i think. in 2011 that seems like it would have been the perfect thing to talk about with a girl you just met at a bar, one of those preamble conversations that are completely empty of content but absolutely crucial to go through the motions of. like a podcast while you’re cooking. or like art in a bathroom. something the two of you are doing unconsciously in the background while you decide whether or not to make out later.
anyway let’s get into it.
1. painting
decided to try something new this week. ha ha. decided to recycle that little joke this week too.
not much to say about this one except that i was feeling absolutely uninspired this week to do anything remotely adventurous. they call it a comfort zone like it’s a bad thing to be comfortable.
from the initial colors after the sketch, punching things up a bit and refining some details. on kind of a whim i decided to throw in some pretty bright teals, into the fog in the ravine and also into some extremely hastily drawn plants (generic) in the foreground. the difference from left to right here is an orange-and-blue overlay, to bring the colors together a little, to punch up the contrast (constant problem area for me) and to set up a better dynamic between the far distance and the foreground.
on the left, i had gotten way too carried away with the plants. past the point of stylized and into the territory of overworked. so i scrapped them and put in some little mushrooms instead. much more legible and it makes more sense that they would be glowing like that.
scroll up for the final.
2. poem
“offering poem” - winter 2021
i wouldn’t rappel down to your balcony
those sirens in the distance would not be for me
i wouldn’t pass a note under a plastic screen
and throw the bag in the trunk and slide across the hood
and disappear into the late afternoon, maybe
or into local history forever —
i might send you a little postcard from a funny little town
or remember something like: half-caf one pump
or: october 21st
i could water up to three plants
for up to one month
3. reuben!
yesssss that’s right. it’s the king of sandwiches! and it’s vegan! and i made the seitan myself. and it’s another chance to humble myself in the face of a loaf of bread.
modern scholars now agree that the reuben is the best of all possible sandwiches. i think there was a lot of debate about this in the late 90’s, which, academically speaking, was a bit of a wild time anyway. you’ve probably heard about some of it. or you’ve at least encountered some of the fallout, especially if you work in academia now.
i have had a few different variations on a vegan reuben over the past year and a half ish. i made the famous chicago diner version (no idea if that link is reputable or not it’s literally the first google result) and i even got the chance to have it in person when i visited. i think i got it twice actually.
i even made a couple different versions last year sometime where i made (bad) seitan and flavored it up myself and it mostly went OK. this time i think it is safe to say it went Great. there’s always room for improvement of course but this one represents a great leap forward in personal reuben achievements.
this is the beginning of the seitan. it’s just bread flour and water, and you make a dough ball with it and knead it all up to get those glutens stretchy (this is a thing people say.) there’s no yeast so it’s not doing any rising.
the dough ball sits covered in water for an hour. this method is known as “washing the flour” and apparently the dedicated facebook community for this method is or was a very dramatic place. but essentially the idea is to keep the glutens and proteins and wash out the starches.
when i’ve made seitan before i’ve just used vital wheat gluten. this method does not involve washing because wheat gluten is already so high-protein. again, that’s what people say.
after it sits for an hour you start to knead and squeeze it around in a big bowl of water. you can do this in the sink and change out the water, but i was (initially) trying to save the wash-water because i saw that you can use it to make noodles etc. so i just used the same water and the same bowl. knead and squeeze the dough until the water is super milky. the dough turns into a slimy, stringy mess and it’s actually pretty cool.
i guess you can go nuts with this and really wash it to heck but in this case you want to leave some of the starches so you get pockets of crispy starch. and at this point i cannot overstate how much i am just recycling talking points from the half dozen youtube videos i watched on this process.
once it’s washed, knead in some seasoning. paprika, mushroom powder, garlic powder, salt, pepper, onion powder. something else i think too. you kind of get the gist so you could probably freestyle a bit here. let this sit for a while.
next step is to fry this up so you get a crust all around, on both sides. in general you should be aiming for some kind of meat shape. but a vague blob works too.
once you have a good crust everywhere, keep the heat going and pour in some wine and soy sauce, then cover and leave to simmer for about 40 minutes. seitan needs to be steamed, and simmering it like this in a closed pot will cook it as well as get some more good flavor in there. then remove it from the heat and let it cool.
in the meantime you can make the shortest loaf of marble rye known to man.
OK. it’s the next day. you can tell from the light. the seitan has sat in the fridge overnight and now slices up absolutely beautifully. it looks like pork belly or something. damn. i really nailed it.
i’m running out of space but fry up the slices a little bit just to get them heated up, and pliable, and a little more flavorful for the sandwich.
you know how to put a reuben together i think. the russian dressing is very easy to make vegan. for the cheese i really like the Chao slices. and get the bread nice and toasty.
4. a fact to share at a party
facts to share at parties are one of my favorite genre of facts. they’re a special little category of human knowledge. a fact to share at a party must be interestingly novel (although this is subjective and depends on the party), it must be accessible, it must be relatively concise, and it must illuminate some aspect of society that allows the conversation to proceed down any number of avenues. it also doesn’t have to be true, i don’t think, or at least that’s the least important characteristic.
a bad example of a fact to share at a party is that actually, people do not eat eight spiders per year. this is undoubtedly true but inarguably boring. where do you go from there? “oh yes i wouldn’t imagine.” “right, isn't it funny that we all thought that for a while?” “huh. excuse me, i’m going to go grab another drink.”
here’s a good one for you though.
i have been taking a lot of walks this past week. partly because the coffee shop in my new neighborhood is a very pleasant 5 minute walk from my apartment, and on the way there are usually three crows hanging out, and i am trying to convince these three crows to become friends with me, by offering them in-the-shell peanuts (bonus party fact: crows like in-shell peanuts.)
there’s also a school right near here, and usually around the time i walk to get my afternoon coffee, the school is getting out, and parents are walking and biking home with their relatively small children. one of these days last week, i was crossing the street to the coffee shop and the fact occurred to me:
in some places in Germany, it’s illegal to jaywalk — but only in front of children. this is because it teaches them bad traffic habits.
i’m pretty sure this is true but i didn’t check. it sounds true, though. it’s probably novel. and it certainly opens up a whole series of doors you and your conversation partners could proceed through at your leisure. “isn’t that interesting, what they value?” you could say. “that’s fascinating — i wonder how old the age cutoff is? what ought it to be?” the mysterious brunette to your left (previously in too-apparent danger of becoming bored) might add, her eyes sparkling in the dim patio light.
take it for a spin. see what you think. and if we see each other at a party, please share at least one of your own favorite party facts.
well i think that will about do it. hope you all have a good week. see ya next tuesday. bye.